I’m writing this to let you know that our friendship will be no longer, years of putting one foot in front of the other to allow you to choose how my day will go. I am finally going to leave you, on the bathroom floor… alone.
I may miss you (not really).
This toxic friendship we built over so many years is finally going to end, i will no longer meet you first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I will no longer use you to bring me comfort and let you bring me down. I’ve allowed myself to let you gain control, i’m sorry, i’m sorry to myself.
I’ve held onto you for so many years, we have built a connection no one would understand. I’d wait for those numbers to become visible, those numbers that allowed me to feel comfort for the day (quite the opposite.) Though you have helped me in some ways (sometimes), i realise now the friendship we have can no longer go on. I will miss you my friend, but i choose myself over you. You’ve helped me to become healthy, but you ruined my mental health. I started checking in with you monthly and then daily…you left me feeling alone.
I never meant for you to hurt me, but you did.
I felt i could trust you, but you broke me. I believed those numbers you spoke, were my worth and my beauty. Now i realise those numbers you spoke were lies (i hope.) So, for this i say goodbye. I say goodbye to those sleepless nights and the anxiety i gained when you were not around.
So, this is the end. The end of you and me. goodbye my fellow “friend” you will be missed (not really.)