Never Enough

I’ve been holding onto hope that everything will fall into place, that my life will somehow work itself out. But when I make all the right steps to move forward, the universe finds a way to damage any hope I had left of fulfilling my dreams. I haven’t posted anything on my blog since September, in the last four months I feel like the darkest parts of me have consumed me.

The reason i’m writing this is because I finally decided to look for a job, I wanted to work as a nurse, I wanted to give back. But since finding my love for writing I wanted to go to university to study English. With university not planning out the way I hoped it would, i’m left feeling confused, broken and drained. When will enough be enough? Everyone around me seems to achieve what they want so easily but for me it seems impossible. I’m scared to find a job in fear of being stuck in something I don’t want to do for the rest of my life, but that something is hard to achieve when you don’t know what you want to do other than to help others and share your own story.

I was searching the internet for a job, but I can’t seem to shake the thought in the back of my head, “You’re not enough.” I don’t know why I feel this way, because I know in my heart that I’m enough but it’s hard to truly believe that when everything tries to stop you from being happy.

I don’t write this for pity, but for anyone who feels the way I do. I hope in the upcoming months things will become clearer but for now I’m going to start to embrace these moments, rather than let them consume me.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

18 thoughts on “Never Enough

  1. Nothing has to be forever… if you get a job that doesn’t feel right it is something you can change. I’m 48 and feel like I’m just beginning to (maybe) find my way… Life is a journey and there will be bumps and twists. I wish you peace of mind and send love 💞

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  2. The mind can stop us from doing many things . I have learn this myself lately . My mind gets me to say I can’t and I’m not good enough way too much. So your not alone . Just try to keep telling yourself your enough.

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  3. Reading about your floundering feelings and fearful thoughts is painful but it’s good that you are now choosing to create a better life for yourself through meaningful work you love and resonate with regardless of what job you aim for. Listen to your own soul for guidance. You are enough. Sending you best wishes 💖

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  4. Just yesterday I received an email from a good friend, who also happens to be one of the best writers in my whole 500 subscribed WP sites.

    She told me that the hardest part of her detailed information and insight packed blog was having the courage to start — because everyone she knew had always tried to convince her she had nothing of value to say!

    It’s the people who will soar the highest who know the lowest lows.

    Start with having the courage to recognize your true greatness. Know that just your moment to moment beingness in this world is a gift to it.

    Really know it, I mean. Head, body, heart and soul — not as a theory, but right in each moment.

    Then go from there.

    Mwa, sister 😚

    PS Publishing your post and my comment as a “Call and Response” on Timeless Classics. Good luck and best blessings to you, AD

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    1. I love that so much! Thank you for your lovely comment, it’s so refreshing to hear and it shows that no matter what we are never alone in how we feel. Once again thank you for both making me feel more motivated than ever and for republishing to your call and response 💓

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  5. It’s never to late to pursue what makes you feel alive. So don’t pressure yourself into finding work or a job ‘Yesterday ‘! You seem like a lady with lots of natural flair for writing. It’s sort of refreshing that you probably don’t realise how much you can achieve. Take some friendly advice, just enjoy your freedom of being who you are. Everything else will follow naturally.

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