I’ve always tried to keep my blog truthful, even when the truth hurts. I want to share my darkest moments to make someone else’s dark moments seem that little bit brighter. Recently, I’ve been going through one of those dark moments.
My nan passed away four days ago. She contracted the coronavirus and whilst, everyone thought she was getting better she passed away in her sleep. For the past four days, I haven’t processed the news, I haven’t cried, I just feel confused. We knew it was a possibility she would pass away, but we were all convinced she had got through it and was on the right track to recovering.
My nan suffered a stroke a few years ago and since then her personality had completely changed and I felt like she had passed away years ago. I wasn’t the best granddaughter, and I should have seen and spoken to her more often. I’ll live with that guilt for the rest of my life.
I hope she passed on knowing I loved her and even though I know she probably knew I love/loved her, I’ll always live with that uncertainty. I was so consumed by grieving for my mom, I forgot to love those who were still here.
Whilst I grieve for my nan, I want to push everyone to stay inside. I never thought this would happen, but it has. It’s not just my nan who has lost her life to this virus, but thousands of other people are losing their lives, so please stay safe.
If you’re like me and you’re now grieving a loss, then please remember you’re not alone.
Please stay safe, keep indoors and spread love.
We will get through this.
The pain you feel today, will be the strength you feel tomorrow.